Note: This was originally posted on January 24, 2005. I had been thinking this through for quite awhile. Years, actually. When I started blogging, it seemed a natural fit. Blogging let me finally put it all together "on paper" and send it out for all to see. That was the beauty of blogging for me: I'm a much better writer than I am a speaker. I have a bad habit of speaking like the grease-monkey that I am. Truck drivers and sailors (and Kos) got nothin' on me.
I've been putting this post off long enough. It's long and I could go on forever because the examples are so numerous, but it explains every liberal position perfectly.
Liberals are really very easy to figure out. Go hang out in any elementary school for a while and you'll see the exact same behavior. Liberals are nothing more than people whose emotional state hasn't progressed beyond childhood. You'll see that theme pointed out over and over again throughout this blog. It is, in fact, one of the main themes of this blog.
A few examples.
What do liberals hate more than anything? Why, unfairness, of course. To them everything must be fair. The rich have too much money and the poor don't have enough. Everyone should have the same amount of everything no matter how hard they've worked. Oddly enough, my five-year-old daughter has the same viewpoint. So do Communists. Apparently my daughter is a Communist. I suppose all children are Communists if you think about it.
I've heard a lot of conservatives mistake liberals' attitudes for communism. Liberals aren't communists except in the sense that the equal distribution of wealth seems like a good idea to someone who is, emotionally, six years old. What six-year-old doesn't want other kids' candy/taxes shared with him? In fact, the theory of communism is itself rooted in the mindset of a six-year-old. Karl Marx was, obviously, emotionally stunted.
If only that poor person had as much money as that mechanic, life would be good. It doesn't matter that the bum chose to spend his life doing nothing while the mechanic learned a trade. It doesn't matter if that welfare mom chose to have four kids and spend her life sitting on the couch watching 'Jerry Springer' while the carpenter got up at 5:00 A.M. every morning and went to work. They should still have the same amount of everything.
Speaking of "unfairness", I've heard more than a few liberals criticize America because our big, strong army went into poor, little Iraq and beat the hell out of their army.
These same people incessantly mouth the words, "We support the troops", but they'd apparently rather have the enemy's army be the same strength as ours so that we'd lose just as many troops as they do. Apparently what they mean is that they support the enemy's troops.
Obviously nobody ever told these people that life isn't fair. Some people just naturally have more brains, talent and/or ambition than others.
That's the one big reason that Communism has failed and always will fail. The more intelligent and ambitious will always try to get ahead of others. Always. It's hard-wired into us over thousands of years of evolution.
For people who are so convinced of Evolution's truth, they sure don't seem to put much stock in it.
Of course, they don't see the hypocrisy, because that's another trait of both libs and children. As one local radio show here says, liberals can't link. They can't see connections between actions.
Then again, they don't much care whether evolution is the truth or not, as long as they can use it to put down religion.
Of course they hate religion. It speaks about "right" and "wrong". Just like my daughter, these people can't stand being told that they're wrong. Which is the same reason they hate people who are "judgmental".
And, of course, once again they can't see the link between calling Conservatives "evil", "mean-spirited", "warmongers", "greedy", etc. and being judgmental. That is their judgment of me, but they really can't see it.
Just calling someone "judgmental" is a judgment!
Another manifestation of liberals' inability to see connections, is there inability to foresee consequences.
Just as a child doesn’t think about the consequences of throwing a rock through a window, the liberals don’t think about the consequences of their actions. They think things out to the point where they feel good, and then they stop. They never think beyond that.
Take welfare, for example. Giving poor people other people’s money made the liberals feel good. (STOP THINKING HERE IF YOU’RE A LIBERAL). They never thought about what would happen if you paid people not to work.
40 years and 3 TRILLION dollars later and the poverty rate is exactly the same as it used to be. The only difference is that now our crime rate and illegitimacy rate has skyrocketed!
This was Democrat Lyndon B. Johnson’s “War on Poverty”. To paraphrase Ann Coulter, his war in Vietnam went a lot better.
Another example? OK.
Just today, a couple of days after President Bush's 2nd inauguration, the evil, right-wing-extremist radio program that I was listening to played a tape recording of a bunch of protestors.
It occurred to me that these protestors' chants sounded an awful lot like the nursery rhymes my daughter likes to chant.
"Hey, hey, ho, ho, (your cause here) has got to go" really isn't that different than "Ring around the Rosie, pocketful of posies".
"Like father, like son, one term and Bush is done" (Heh).
"Peter, Peter pumpkin eater, had a wife and couldn't keep her".
They're short, they're easy to memorize, they rhyme, they're kind of fun to say, they don't take a whole lot of thought...you get the picture. If you listen to just the cadence and not the words, you can't tell the difference.
(An interesting sidenote: have you ever thought about what "Ring around the Rosie" was about? It's actually about the bubonic plague. "Ring around the rosie" was actually describing the ring that formed around the sores when one caught the plague. People used to hold flowers (posies) to their nose in the belief that it would ward off the plague. "Ashes, ashes, all fall down!" kind of speaks for itself. Just as you've probably never thought about that, liberals don't really think about what they're chanting.)
This whole "libs as kids" theory was just kind of a vague notion and almost a joke between my friends and I until the last couple of school shootings. What did they blame them on? Every child's nemesis: bullies!
That's when all of the pieces came together.
These "poor kids" killed a bunch of bullies in their schools. They deserved our sympathy, not our reprimands.
I don't think that it's a coincidence that, if you look at these liberals, you can see inside them the kids in school who were constantly picked on. They all look "off" somehow.
An old boss of mine had a theory that they were actually aliens. "Just look at them!" he'd say. "It's obvious". But I think that what he was seeing was actually just the invisible target pasted on these people. These people were all of the misfits in your school and mine.
A psychologist I once knew told me that a lot of people's emotional progression stops at a certain traumatic point in their lives. Maybe these bullies traumatized these kids to the point where, even as adults, they can't grow up.
That would also explain why my daughter's public school sends home endless fliers on the subject of bullying. The people who are running the public school system are some of the biggest liberals in the country. I'd also bet that they were picked on when they were kids.
It would also explain their whole culture of "victimhood".
I'm sure that you'll see many, many more examples as I blather on in this blog.
From now on, whenever you hear a liberal speak, think about what they're saying and try to link it to childhood behavior. Once you start seeing the pattern, you can see it in everything that they do. It's actually a lot of fun for those of us who actually think.
And this theme will be continued on tomorrow's post. If you can't wait (yeah, right) it's in the archives under January 2005.