My Theory of Conspiracists

Not long ago I heard some Lefty on TV or the radio whining, "When are these people going to take those Bush/Cheney '04 stickers off their cars?"

My answer to that: as soon as I see the last of the Kerry/Edwards '04 stickers. They're still out there and they lost. Yes, they lost. No, it wasn't stolen in some grand conspiracy (which we'll get to very, very shortly... again).

Besides, I think it offsets my NRA sticker rather nicely. It gives a sense of balance to the back windshield of the Jeep.

For that matter, I'll take my Bush/Cheney sticker off when I see the last of the Wellstone stickers! He died over 5 years ago and you still see them here! In fact, there was a big stink when someone designed a bumper-sticker that looked just like the Wellstone sticker that said something to the effect of, "He's dead. get over it!" The Left in this state went absolutely insane with rage (not that these people ever feel rage! ::smirk::).

Which brings me back to one of my favorite topics. I don't know why I find it so fascinating, but I do. I found this in my old bookmarks:

Wellstone’s death comes almost two years to the day after a similar plane crash killed another Democratic Senate hopeful locked in a tight election contest, Missouri Governor Mel Carnahan, on October 16, 2000. The American media duly noted the “eerie coincidence,” as though it was a statistical oddity, rather than suggesting a pattern.

Wellstone was in a hotly contested reelection campaign, but polls showed he was beginning to pull ahead of Republican nominee Norm Coleman, the former mayor of St. Paul, in the wake of the vote in the Senate to authorize President Bush to wage war against Iraq. The liberal Democrat was a well-publicized opponent of the war resolution, the only Senator in a tight race to vote against it.

No matter what or where I read about Paul Wellstone, he was either "pulling ahead" or "on his way to a win" against Norm Coleman (who's sticker also graces the back of the Jeep). It just ain't true. If anyone was gaining momentum, it was Coleman; and at the time of Wellstone's death the race was a statistical dead-heat.

My theory is that the shadowy people running the Left saw that Wellstone was going to lose, so they downed his plane with an electro-magnetic pulse generator given to them by George Soros. What? It's no sillier than what they're suggesting.

But the part that fascinates me, as I've probably said before, isn't the possibility that their conspiracy theories may be true, but the minds behind the people who believe them.

What would motivate someone to believe this stuff? Even sheer hatred of Conservatives in general and Bush in particular doesn't really explain it.

Now, I know that the Left has no logic, but their theories aren't even a lack of logic. This is illogic. The opposite of logic. It's like they're trying so hard to make sense of something with brains that can't really think rationally to begin with, that they end up spinning out of control and end up in La-la land.

These are the same people who believe that there is no such thing as an accident and somebody must be responsible (and sued for it). Maybe that explains part of it. Nothing bad ever just happens. Somebody must have caused it.

For example, global warming isn't just happening because of a naturally occurring warming cycle. Somebody must be blamed. And that somebody is inevitably Capitalism (code for Conservatives) and/or America.

Another weird part of the Conspiracy Theory Left, is how fast it came on. Ten years ago, the Left was certainly attacking the Right, but it seemed more calculating; as if even they didn't really believe their own bullshit. And, to be sure, there's still a lot of that out there, but now they also seem to believe anything that's put out there as fact.

It''s seems like the minute Hillary came out with her "Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy", it opened the floodgates and all of these people who had been holding back for fear of being called nutjobs, were given permission to start circullating their wildest fantasies. It started relatively slowly, but after the 2000 elections, it absolutely exploded!

I could almost see it if it were just about them losing elections. It's no different than a child making excuses for losing a game. But their theories cover everything!

Although, now that I put it down in writing where I can see it, when power is everything to them, I guess it's makes sense that their conspiracy theories would cover everything imaginable.

It's like propaganda for 5-year-olds. It allows them to justify their hatred for the Right by making us seem scheming and evil.

They can't just come right out and say that they hate us because we legally took their power away from them, can they?