Michael Moore might be old news but this gem from the archives of Frank J. <http://www.imao.us/archives/000583.html> deserves to be dusted off:
And what's with your statement about how the country is actually all liberal and that the people booing you were actually booing the booers? Do you actually believe that? What kind of fantasy world do you live in? Are there elves and leprechauns there? If there are, and I caught one of those hippy leprechauns and he told me, "If you don't harm me and let me go, I'll give you three wishes," (that would be in Irish brogue; I don't know how to represent that typing) I wouldn't let him go, because the only thing I would want would be to give that stupid pinko leprechaun a beating. To be clear, I wouldn't beat him as much as a regular size hippy, because that would be like a huge beating to him because of his small size, which isn't his fault. But I assure you it would be a sound beating, and, when he went back to his leprechaun home, he'd tell the other leprechauns, "Aye, what a sound beating I received; quite proportionate to my size."
Bloody Leftist Leprechauns!
Update: I scarfed this whole from Fraters Libertas' website and forgot to credit them. My apologies. I'm not worthy to lick the floor you walk on at Keegan's Irish Pub.