Saturday, November 12, 2005

LADD

Liberal Attention Deficit Disorder

Symptoms:


  • Complete inability to follow the thread of a conversation.
  • Picking out one small part of a lengthy conversation and obsessively citing only that part.
  • Interjecting into a conversation things that have no bearing on that subject (aka: changing the subject)
  • Inability to make logical connections between actions and the resulting effects.
  • "Flights of fancy", wherein they argue what they wished were true instead of real facts.
  • Complete lack of logic and/or common sense.
  • Insatiable craving for power and attention, probably brought about by insecurity.


  • Remedies:

    Currently there is no known cure for LADD.

    From a pharmaceutical standpoint, there are indications that anti-depressants may be of some help but, overall, drugs seem to have no effect on the disease. In fact, there are indications that "self-medication" with illicit drugs may actually cause parts of the disease to manifest (i.e. paranoia, inability to think clearly) in some people.

    Mental therapy also seems to have no effect on the disease. Therapy sessions always seem to degrade into "whining sessions" and may actually worsen symptoms by giving them a captive (though expensive) audience who will pay attention to them. It probably also doesn't help that a large majority of their "counselors" suffer from the same disease and have no incentive to cure anyone.

    There are reports of people being spontaneously cured, but they are very rare. The cause would seem to be some kind of chemical change in the brain that suddenly causes their eyes to open and sudden feelings of disgust with themselves and their associates. Again, these cases are very rare, and the condition appears to be chronic.

    Case Studies

    Cindy Sheehan, Michael Moore

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