Friday, March 11, 2005

Isn't that cute?

I ran across this little scenario about a month ago on one of those insipid little blogs that details every moment of some family's existence. I've always wondered whether people do this just to entertain themselves or if they think anyone actually cares about the amazing exploits of their family. The former I could live with. The latter sends shivers down my spine.



"Tonight, Ella and I baked a cake for dessert. After dinner, we sliced four pieces and distributed them to the family. Before Ella would eat her piece, she wanted to explain to mommy how she made the cake, and my wife and I were listening to her story. Meanwhile, her two-year-old sister Chloe shovelled her cake into her mouth as fast as she could go. Chloe finished her piece then noticed that the rest of us still had cake left on our plates and started asking for more, then begging for more, then screaming and crying and whining "moooore." Ella cut off a piece of her own cake and put it on Chloe's plate, then gave her a kiss. What a great big sister."


That is the perfect metaphor for the whole liberals as children theory ( with Chloe, of course, posing as the liberal).

And I won't even get into the fact that it's amazing that this guy can type with his skirt billowing up in front of him like that. Just the fact that his kids are named Chloe & Ella tells me all I need to know about him.


(I just revisited this guy's site and it really comes as no surprise that he's working to become a college professor and that he believes everything that Michael Moore, Al Gore, and Salon rave about. Oh, and [with apologies to The American Princess] his wife's a lawyer. Nice pants, lady.)

- The Exile


  1. What do the names Chloe and Ella tell you about this man???

  2. Let's just say that I've met very, very few Republicans who name their kids with "middle-school-girl doodles" like that.

    We tend to stick with the classics, not the names that say, "Look how clever I am. I named my daughter Kaerynn!" You know, the ones that the kid doesn't have to spell for people every time she's asked her name FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE.

    I used to be married to one of those. I always thought that it was very cruel of her mother to do that, but then again her mother is one of the most selfish liberals I have ever met. Which makes my point.

  3. Wow, you seethed about that post for an entire month! You must have some real concerns about your own masculinity for you to be so obsessed that you had to circle back to whine and call me names for not beating my two year old for crying.

    And the fact that you think the names Ella and Chloe are some kind of newfangled invented names--and that you find yourself incapable of imagining someone could manage to spell either name (because "Ella" is evidently beyond your speling ability) tells me most of what I need to know about you.

    Match it with the fact that you're so obsessed with your Republican greed and "ownership" that you're offended because a four year old shared a piece of cake with her little sister. You Republicans, always so self-centered and selfish that even sharing within a family has you angry for more than a month.

    I also enjoy the irony that you attack me for writing about my family right after a post about your daughter's kindergarten class--a post that of course quickly veers off into your hatred of anyone different from yourself. Surprising.

  4. No, I certainly didn't "seethe" about anything for any length of time. I bookmarked it because it was so amazingly illustrative of the Left and got back to it at a later date.

    How that has anything to do with my masculinity, I really don't understand. I also don't understand why all of the Left's arguments eventually circle back to men on the Right being worried about their masculinity. I see a bit of projection there.

    And I'm sure that you assume that, being a Republican, I regularly beat my child. The fact is, I swatted her butt once and felt so bad about it that I could never do it again. However it's not necessary, because I have control of my child. A stern look will stop whatever she's doing immediately. I'm sure that you believe that controlling your child is fascistic, but she is learning self-control, which is sorely lacking in a large portion of the children today.

    >>(because "Ella" is evidently beyond your speling ability) >> Do you see the irony in that sentence? I didn't even go to college and I picked that up.

    I don't believe that they're "newfangled" or "invented" names. I do, however, believe that names like that are, as I've said, just a way for parents to say "look at me, I'm quirky!" And, while I may be able to spell them correctly, there are a whole lot of people out there with public-school educations who won't be able to and will waste large portions of your kids' lives asking them how to spell their names. I have to spell MY name to a lot of people, and it's not that uncommon.

    I have no problem with people sharing within a family. In fact it was very nice of your daughter to do that. Being one of the intellectual left, I'm surprised that you missed my whole point. It wasn't that someone was sharing with someone else. It was the comparison between a small child whining, screaming and crying because they didn't get all that they wanted and the Left constantly doing the same thing.

    As far as "Republican greed" goes, I'd bet everything that I own that you make more money than I do. I'd also bet that your wife makes more than I do. I'd bet that between the two of you, your family makes more than the majority of Republican families do. If you were to ever get out of your insular life and out into the real world you'd realize that most Republicans are not a) rich or b) stupid. In fact, I've found that quite the opposite is closer to the truth.

    And the post wasn't about my daughter or my family, it was about the screwed up priorities of the public education system. Again, a smart guy like you missed the point entirely. How were your comprehension scores on the SAT's? Or are you, like most Lefties, just seeing what you want to? So much for the "reality-based" community.

    That's obvious by your leap to my "hatred" of anyone different than myself. Did I say anything that spoke of "hatred" of deaf people? No. But, if you were capable of using a little logic, you'd see that teaching children sign-language is a waste of time when the average person may run into ten or twenty deaf people in their lifetime. Don't you think their time would be better spent learning math, history, or reading?

    I'm sure that you think that I'm just a slack-jawed, mouth-breathing red-stater, but the fact is, I'm at least as intelligent as you are. In addition I live in the real world every day. I live in the world of blue-collar AND white-collar people. I'll take the opinion of the blue-collars every day. And certainly over the opinion of people who never get out of the world of "academia".

    It's odd that, being a "greedy Republican", I chose a career that will never pay more than $50K per year. It's what I enjoy doing. So much for your stereotypes. Oh, wait, it's only the Right that stereotypes people, right? Hypocrisy on the Left rears it's ugly head once again.

  5. I'm the one projecting here? I left a story on my blog about my kids, and you wandered by and felt the need to leave a comment accusing me of being a woman three times. Then a month later you put up a post in which you said "it's amazing that this guy can type with his skirt billowing up in front of him like that." I don't have any idea what you're talking about when you say "all of the Left's arguments eventually circle back to men on the Right being worried about their masculinity." Why do you feel the need to make this into some sort of abstract discussion of political movements? I am not responding to everyone on the Right, and I'm not speaking as all of the Left. I'm talking about your specific need to proclaim at least a half-dozen times in less than a thousand words that you're a Real Man by questioning my masculinity. My masculinity is not based on violence against my children or other people. My wife makes a lot more than I do, and that does not make me concerned that I'm suddenly turning into a woman at all. Nor am I afraid that I'm not masculine enough because I know how to do a load of laundry and do at least of the domestic labor in my family. I wasn't questioning how comfortable you are with your own masculinity because you're Republican, but because you feel some kind of compulsion to repeatedly, offensively question mine because of those facts. Anyone who has to strut around pumping himself up repeatedly like that has got real questions about his own masculinity, is all I am saying.

    I did not "assume" that you "regularly beat your child" because you are a Republican. In the comment you left on my blog you said I should have beaten my two year old because she was crying. After I'd beaten her some, you implied, I'd be able to merely threaten her from that point on. Again, you feel the need to make this some sort of Left v. Right issue. You attacked me. Specific people. You made specific accusations, which you continue to make. If, as you say, you don't "regularly beat [your] child," then why is it that you believe that it is impossible for me to control my children without beating them myself?

    I can't remember ever coming upon anyone else so willing to assume so many crazy, stereotypical ridiculousnesses based upon nothing more than political party affiliation. Because I am "on the Left" I must "believe that controlling your child is fascistic." That's just stupid. No rational human being anywhere--Left, Right, or anywhere in between--believes that controlling a child is Fascism. I might also point out that "controlling your child" is not the same thing as teaching them "self-control." It is important both to control them sometimes and sometimes not to control them so that they can learn to control themselves.

    But I wouldn't presume to shove my nose into your parenting style or skills, or to assume based on reading one blog entry by you that you're some kind of monster parent. I am sure that you love your daughter and that you do the best you can to raise her the best you can. Why is it that you are unwilling to extend similar courtesy to me? How regularly do you go to random blogs and attack people like this? Is it fun for you, finding parents who have left stories about their children and leaving insulting comments, assuming that you know every detail about their lives because you've read a post or two and maybe know their political affiliation? Given that you're so fond of relating to those abstractions: Does it seem like true Republican "family values" to just wander around the blogs attacking people for being bad parents? Unfortunately, so far as I can tell, Republicans are always happy to take part in denigrating others, what they are not ever willing to do is to actually do something to help others--whether governmentally or personally.

    As far as the spelling Ella goes, that was your own claim, that Ella would spend the rest of her life spelling her name for others. I don't think you really meant anything when you attacked me for their names--you were simply being hurtful and you figured making nasty remarks about my children would be a good way to achieve your result. But then someone asked what you meant, and you had to come up with something. Ella and Chloe are both traditional names, and they are both popular names. You don't like my kids' names: oh well.

    I didn't miss your point--your point was such a stupid display of stereotyping me based on my political party that I chose to focus instead on the substance of your attack. You're one of those people who says that every crying baby is the perfect representation of the Left. Ok, I disagree. What more response do you expect on that line?

    I can almost absolutely guarantee you that you make more money than I do. You must have been listening to David Horowitz or something if you think I earn a lot of money. Add my wife's income, though, and we certainly do earn more than the majority of families in this country, Republican or Democrat. What's your point? Isn't the Republican ethic supposed to be all about meritocratic advancement: let everyone sink or swim according to their abilities. So why do you think pointing out our income is an attack on us? My wife and I both grew up working class and we both worked very hard and took out a lot of student loans and took advantage of a little luck and a lot of planning, to develop satisfying careers. I'm certainly not going to apologize to you because we are successful. Why is our success so difficult for you to deal with?

    I don't know what insular life you speak of. How would you know anything about who I associate with, except by assuming so once again that because I am a professor and a Democrat? Again, that's a stupid assumption. You do not know me, and you do not know who I associate with.

    I certainly do not assume that most Republicans are rich or stupid. All of the Republican leadership is rich, and their policies are designed solely to benefit the rich at the expense of the middle and working classes. But I certainly am well aware that lots of people who vote Republican are not rich. I wish that only rich and stupid people voted Republican, because that's who they govern for and because it would put my party into power. I have some very intelligent Republican friends; they're just wrong, not stupid.

    Again, I didn't miss what you think was your point in that post. I am pointing out that you're attack on me for being "insipid" because I wrote a post about my family is quite easily turned right back around. Why do you think anyone's interested in your daughter's experience in Kindergarten? Do you "think anyone actually cares" about your "amazing" insights into the political parties, or about your bigotry?

    If you were capable of any insights into education, you'd recognize that teaching a small child sign language is about a whole lot more than providing some utilitarian skill. Your daughter is learning that there are other ways to communicate, is improving her dexterity, is beginning to discover that there are people in the world different than herself and that she should treat them with respect. I understand why you're threatened by that, especially by that last point.

    I have no idea how intelligent you are or what career you perform or whether you're a decent member of your community. What I do know is that you have no respect for other people, you think you are better than anyone who doesn't agree with you politically, and you think everyone plugs perfectly into whatever stereotypes you believe in already. Unlike you, I wouldn't try to presume how intelligent or worthwhile a person is based on reading one or two blog posts. When I come upon a blog that I think is stupid or pointless, I just move along, so I also know about you that you enjoy demeaning others. The anger and viciousness of your response to me--at the risk of beating this point in the ground--a person you do not know but have presumed to understand based on two or three details you gleaned from my blog, tells me that you are someone I certainly wouldn't want to be around.

    Given your complete dismissal of "academia" and white-collar types in that last comment, I find it hard to believe you actually "live in the world" of "white-collar people." Even if you come into contact with them, if all you do is wait to plug them into your stupid, mean little stereotypes, then how much are you really getting outside your insular world? Your attacking me for being insulated has at least a little bit of the pot calling the kettle black about it. Maybe you should try actually being interested in other people every once in a while. You might learn that the world is more complicated than your assumptions. I come into contact with all kinds of people all the time, and unlike you I assume that they are decent, reasonable people worthy of respect until they prove otherwise. Which of us is living on an island?

  6. You said, "I'd bet everything that I own that you make more money than I do." How about I propose an alternate bet: I'll respond to your email and tell you my salary. If it's less than you make, you can leave a comment here apologizing for assuming you know everything about me based on reading one post on my blog.

  7. Just a couple more points:
    How do you think it would make my wonderful old, dearly departed grandmother feel to know that the fact that I chose to name my first-born daughter after her is "just a way for [me] to say 'look at me, I'm quirky!'"? Why do you assume that you know anything about the decision process for naming my children? You are about the most pompous person I;ve ever come across, whether you pride yourself on being "blue-collar" or not. Pomposity is not only a "white-collar" trait, and you're living proof.

    And I'm sorry if the degrees after my name make you feel the need to repeat over and over again that you're smarter than me. You might be, I don't know. The smartest person I've ever met--certifiable genius, does super-complex math in his head at the speed of light, remembers everything, is observant and knowledgable about almost every subject--does not have a college degree. One of the next-smartest people I know is an enlisted man in the Navy. He's a hell of a lot smarter than I am. If you're trying to argue that degrees and career choices don't prove intelligence, you'll get no argument from me on that point. But I have never said that they did, ever. You are the one who felt this compulsion to assert your own smarts. Why is that? What's your deal? Do you go around accusing everyone of being stupider than you are? I notice in your follow-up comment that you explained that most "people out there with public-school educations" are too stupid to spell Ella, so I'm guessing that you do. Why do you feel such a need to assert that you are smarter than everyone else?

    And one last point: you complain in your most recent post that you argued with a liberal about SS and he accused you of creating straw man arguments, and you deduced from that that the Left is always accusing the Right of creating straw men. I don't know about all of the Left and all of the Right, and I wasn't privvy to that discussion, but I'd wager he's right because you certainly do like to set up straw men arguments. Here's only one example: Because I don't want to beat my two year old, I am accusing you of being a fscist because you believe children should be controlled. That's a classic straw man.

    You simply want to go around being insulting and offensive but pretending that you're taking part in an intellectual, political debate.

    Like I said, I don't know if you're smarter than me, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to get to know you well enough to find out if you are--you are too arrogant and unpleasant, at least in your blog persona, to want to get to know.

  8. I notice you have no response.

    Let's just take the simplest point of contention, ok? You said that you would "bet everything that I own that you make more money than I do." And since I wouldn't want to take everything you own, I made a coutner-offer: I told you how much I earn and asked if you make more that you apologize to me "for assuming you know everything about me based on reading one post on my blog." But I see no apology here, nor do I see you telling me that you were right. Why can't you even respond?

    Are you a welcher too?

  9. Insult my husband all you want. He can certainly defend himself. I would ask that you leave me and my children out of your moronic attempts to make a point about politics in this country.

  10. "I'm nobody special," you begin your About Me section. Should've stopped right there, except maybe to add "I'm given to understatement."

  11. Was this truly a serious post of yours? Do you know this man with the two children? Is that why you responded to his story with such vitriole? Is there something else going on here? If there isn't then I am at a loss to explain your response to his post - which seemed to me to be merely a story about his kids, and nothing more. Grow up!
    All of you, and stop identifying yourself solely based on your political affiliations. It's a rediculously partisan way to behave and results in this sort of rediculous back and forth over two kids sharing cake.

  12. Please remain in exile. You are an ignorant, arrogant idiot, not unlike that half-wit in the White House. I am so sorry I stumbled on this blog. Get a freakin' life.