Saturday, September 24, 2005


I was, and still am, concerned about the whereabouts of Michael Moore. Nobody has heard from him since last year's election. What happened to him? I have a few theories:

a) He's committed suicide and is rotting away in his "man-of-the-people"'s mansion.

b) He's suffered an "accident" at the hands of the "vast right-wing conspiracy".

c) He's holed up in his mansion, depressed and drowning his sorrows in Hostess and McDonald's products.

d) The Democrats want nothing to do with him having realized, too late, that having this propagandist sitting with Jimmy Carter at the DNC was a bad idea.

But he's not the only one that seems to have disappeared. Where has Howard Dean been lately? His rants used to be so entertaining, but I haven't heard a word out of him for months.

The Democrats have apparently figured out, again too late, that he's a nutcase and that elevating him to the position of DNC chairman was a mistake.

This guy was such an egomaniac, what must the Democrats have done to shut him up? The only thing that I can think of is to threaten to take away the thing that every Lefty loves most: power.

"Listen, mate. That's a nice bit of power you got there. Be a shame if something were to happen to it, eh? Now, if you were to just piss off and shut yer syrup-hole, maybe you could hang on to it for a bit longer, capiche?"

Anyway, somebody should really call these guys and make sure that they're OK. It would be a shame to lose laughingstocks such as these.

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