Thursday, September 15, 2005

I'm Back...

OK, I'm back from my hiatus. I've been so busy lately that I haven't even checked my e-mail in a week. However, I have gotten a lot of things that needed doing, done. I'm never ready for winter, but at least this year, I'll be close.

That said, what shall we talk about tonight? How about a point made in one of the comments on the post immediately below. It also happens to be a subject which I find endlessly fascinating: paranoid conspiracy theories.

One of the trolls who followed me over from Pandagon (and, like all the rest, none of them leave a link) made a point that I have heard many times before when speaking of the Left and their unending conspiracy theories. They always say, "Yeah, but what about the Right's embrace of the theories of Vince Foster and Ron Brown being murdered?" He (?) even threw in one I haven't heard before about some kids being beaten to death because they "saw too much".

The fact is, none of those theories was taken seriously by more than a relative handful of people on the Right. If there were more than a few thousand across the country who really believed those stories, I'd be shocked. I certainly never heard anyone with any real credibility who believed them.

However, you can't swing your proverbial dead cat (sorry, PETA) without hitting someone on the Left who believes the most incredible stories, and not just the nutcases. O.K. they may be nutcases, but they are also in positions of power on the Left.

Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Hillary Clinton, Howard Dean, Dick Durbin, Charlie Rangel, Maxine Waters, Harry Reid. Those are a small fraction of "leaders" on the Left who have bought in to these conspiracies.

And all they can ever come up with are, really, two cases that some nutcases on the really extreme Right believed: Ron Brown and Vince Foster.

So let's see what the Left has come up with, shall we?

- George Bush "stole" the election in 2000. Somehow "the Chimp" managed to be smarter than all of his adversaries, because not once has the count ever gone against him.

- George Bush "stole" the election in 2004. And John Kerry conceded only because he really isn't a power-hungry, rich white guy; which we're led to believe doesn't exist in the Democrat party. He didn't really want the job anyway. Or maybe George Bush threatened his life if he didn't concede!

- George Bush "allowed" his "friends" in the oil business to break whatever laws they wanted to after he was elected (e.g. Enron). Apparently these people became criminals in January 2001 when Bush was inaugurated and were found out immediately. They were apparently doing no wrong during the Clinton administration.

- Microsoft was "let off the hook" from it's anti-trust lawsuits for no other reason than Bill Gates was a rich, white guy. It's odd that Bill Gates stands for some of the most leftist causes imaginable.

- Anthrax was unleashed upon the publisher of The National Enquirer because they dared to publish "drunken" pictures of Bush's daughters. Yes, he's that evil!

- The anthrax scare was created by the Bush administration so that they had an excuse to roll back the civil liberties of Americans everywhere, thus expanding their fascist hold over these people. I notice, however, that, for some reason, these poor people haven't lost their right to accuse Bush of the most horrific things imaginable. Any othe fascist dictatorship would have had them killed long ago.

- Sadaam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden could have been assasinated but weren't, because that gave Bush an excuse to feed the "military-corporate partnership". Apparently the old term, "Military-Industrial Complex" has become too attached to conspiracy theories, so they renamed it (smirk).

- Flight 93, the one that crashed in Pennsylvania on 9/11, was shot down by the military, and the story of the passengers rushing the cockpit was fabricated to cover Bush for giving the order. On the other hand, if it wasn't shot down, it should have been; and Bush was negligible for not giving the order.

- Flight 587, which crashed on November 12, 2001, was really brought down by terrorists and not an onboard explosion as the administration has said. So, on the one hand, Bush wants to use terrorism to fuel his war on our rights, but on the other hand, he doesn't want to admit that terrorists are blowing up planes. Hmmm.

- The Bush family is in league with the Bin Laden family through the Carlyle Group. Streeeeeetttch....

- Bush is a puppet of Israel. For some reason the leader of the most powerful nation on the planet is bowing to "the Jooos!"

- Bush lied about WMD's in Iraq so that he could go in there and control the oil. Even I'm sick of responding to this one. OK, kiddies, let's rehash this for the completely retarded out there:

a) everyone who mattered believed the very same thing until a month after we invaded Iraq and didn't find WMD's. The U.N., France, Russia, Germany, Bill Clinton...everybody!

b) if Bush is so corrupt, why didn't he just plant some WMD's and say, "Aha!" One of my former trolls, who has apparently run away forever, kept making the point that they knew that they'd find some, so they didn't bother. He never would answer my point that Bush could plant them even now if he wanted to and say, "Well, look what we found buried out in the desert!"

- Bush personally flew the planes, by remote control, into the World Trade Center towers and the Pentagon. He was, after all, a pilot!

- Osama Bin Laden was actually in US custody and would be "captured" right before the Presidential election in November, 2004 to give Bush an edge. Apparently he escaped, huh?

- George Bush helped members of the Saudi royal family "escape" right after 9/11. Apparently we were supposed to send members of a country's royal family to a "gulag" where they could await Amnesty International and Dick Durbin to free them from the torture of having to eat lemon-chicken and asparagus tips.

- George Bush was a member of "Skull and Bones", which proved that he was a member of the "New World Order" crowd. Or was that the Trilateral Comission? Or the Illuminati? I can't keep them all straight even though I, too, am a member! Muahahah!

- Supreme Court nominee John Roberts was a member of the "Federalist Society", which proves that he's...what? A Republican? Someone who believes that the Constitution says what it says? Either one is evil to the Left.

- Countless comparisons by Democrat leaders to Bush being a Nazi, a fascist, a name it. Many of these were made on the floors of Congress. One accusation by the lead Senator of the Democrats!

Kind of pales in comparison to "right-wing" extremists saying the Clinton's had Vince Foster offed, doesn't it?

- Bush slowed federal relief to the hurricane victims in New Orleans so that more "niggers" would die and/or abandon their property so that New Orleans could be made into a "lily-white" Republican stronghold.

- Levees were destroyed in New Orleans so that poor, black neighborhoods were flooded instead of the more affluent parts of the city (which seem to have been flooded anyway).

That is a very, very, partial list of the conspiracy theories that the Left has come up with. There are, literally, hundreds more. Everything that Bush does is nothing more than his conspiring to advance his agenda by any means possible and, usually, by the most evil means at his disposal for no other reason than he hates minorities enough to want to commit mass-murder.

The fact that these things are ridiculous, and able to be picked apart as easily as any childish fantasy, deters these people not in the least.

I've said it before, but I think that it bears repeating: this is now what passes for deep thinking among those on the Left. Whoever can come up with the most dastardly, evil, convoluted theory on why President Bush does anything, gets a high-five, and that most coveted feeling amongst the Left, AFFIRMATION! The feeling that they really do matter! That their life really isn't meaningless!

To give the devil his due, this is how those on the Left "think outside the box". It doesn't matter how ridiculous or stupid their theories may be, because they know that if they can come up with their own theory they will be, for once, not parroting the Democrat talking points. This is what passes for originality of thought for those on the Left.

Deep down, they know that, when we on the Right laugh at them for not having any original ideas, we are, well, right.

They are unable to harness enough logic to make it from one logical proposition to the next and come up with an original thought. The next best thing is to indulge their childish fantasies and come up with a fantasy that nobody has thought of before.

Once again, their entire motivation, as it always is, comes down to, "PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!!" No different than any child.

So, Ron Brown and Vince Foster. You guys need about 500 more conspiracy theories to even come close.

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